Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize