tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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