I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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