He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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