Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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