i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
