No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize