So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
