and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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