I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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