fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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