We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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