Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i will never coherently bang her
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
