Cold hands, warm shart.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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