The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
