Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
