Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
