i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
