THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You smell like stripper and shame
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
