the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
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