i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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