ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
