He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
