I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
