Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
