Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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