She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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