I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Vodka?
Forever.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
