at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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