i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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