Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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