We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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