So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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