So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
