Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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