Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize