to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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