All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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