I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
