Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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