guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
