On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
