3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Where is the hickey?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
