Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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