Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
