I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
