Me too!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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