oh god the rape fog is back!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
