Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
