Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
is that a dick in a sweater?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
