i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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