I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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