Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
