Christians are straight up FREAKS
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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