You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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