I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
