Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He shit in the fireplace
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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