My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
