Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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