and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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