Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize