i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
