2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He told me they were just razor bumps!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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